Vacuuming Cats. Almost Like Herding, But Noisier.

After several days of dyeing fabric, with all its attendant threads and fuzz, and then 5 hours today of going through all the files in the file cabinets and re-doing them, I’d made a big mess in the studio. So when I finally finished, I took out the rugs and shook them and then got out the vacuum cleaner.
The cats hate the vacuum cleaner. They loathe it. Cutie Pie was the only one who’d ever discovered the Joys of Being Vacuumed, and he used to put on a big show about how wonderful it was while the others watched warily from the other room.
I decided this was just silly and that these cats—Lennie Lulu and Moe—were going to learn to love being vacuumed. I figured it would be a long, drawn-out process, over many weeks, with ever-closer approximations of the actual Vacuuming of the Cat.
You know:  you start out by getting the brush attachment and using it to brush that cat when the vacuum isn’t even in the room. You talk to them, you pet them, you brush them vigorously.
Then, when they love the brush attachment, you put the vacuum cleaner as far away as the hose will reach and attach the brush to the hose. More brushing, more petting, more big fun.
Then the hairy part:  turning on the vacuum. You take the brush off and put the vacuum far across the room, turn it on, go to the cat and do the brushing thing.
Years later, they may actually let you brush them with the attachment while it’s on the hose and the vacuum is turned on. It’s worth a try, anyway, because nothing gets rid of shedding fur as neatly and quickly.
The vacuum cleaner was already in the room, and Lennie was lying in the corner, watching it. I said, “You’d better go; you’re afraid of this, remember?” I was going to get up and go get the brush and start Training the Cats, but before I could turn off the vacuum cleaner, she walked over to it, saluted it, and reached her paw out to touch it. She probably wondered if that’s where Cutie Pie is, deep in its little shiny blue bowels.
I went in, got the brush, put it on, turned on the vacuum, and sat down beside her. And she lay down and offered her side to me. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes vacuuming her and her brother, she on one side of me, he on the other. When he thought I’d spent too much time on her, he’d reach over and tap me on the leg.
Just when I think I Know Cats, they amaze me.

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