But I'm not doing zippers On Purpose. You know? So I found/altered a pattern to make these dresses without zippers. This means, of course, that they can't have front darts, because, without a zipper, I would not then be able to get them over my shoulders and chest. Not breasts--we're talking linebacker shoulders and chest here--just wide bones or something. So the dresses--half a dozen of them--have always bothered me. With no front darts, they're kind of baggy, and they kind of look a little like mumu dresses to me.
I've been trying to dress them up, with little shrugs I got on sale and dyed and these fabulous beaded belts that I found for--get this!--$6 each. Here's one:
I saw the photos of this and went, "Eeeeeeee!" I feel like my own grandmother here. Dump city.
And here's another:
It's just not happenin' for me, and I'm not sure why. And why is it that 3" heels look fabulous in a size 6 and just look Lurch-like in a size 10? To get fabulous heels, we'd have to have, like, 7". Like that's ever going to happen. The dress has a beaded "motif" in the front--I cut and appliqued one of the flowers and then beaded the hell out of it. The cotton shrug was on sale at Penny's, and I dyed it orange. But it still feels dumpy through the middle to me. Like I'm trying to hide a gut.
Here I'm showing you my shin, which you read about previously and which IS STILL BLEEDING, people. Gah. When I cut myself, I take it seriously. Toilet paper = The New Bling.
I don't know about these dresses. Got to think about them some more. I made them years ago and just never wear them. Maybe they should become fabric again and find a new, more useful life? What do y'all think? Dumpy? Or OK? I'm never this indecisive and figure there's something going on. Probably something about not measuring up to my mother's 1) sewing skills and 2) 18" waist.