Where's the Nice?

I just got off the phone with a "customer service" rep for my ISP, Suddenlink. I've been having trouble with them for a week--first their email went down completely, and then things have been crawling at a snail's pace. It takes forEVER to load any URL, and I just don't have the patience. Last time this happened, I called and they had me tweak something, and everything got better. Of course I don't remember what I did, because that was many, many computer tweaks ago, so I thought I'd just call, tell them what was going on, and they'd have me do whatever it was. Et voilá. Right?

Ha. Bwahahahahahaha.

I call, wait on hold for a while (of course), am finally connected to some young guy named Jason or Justin or Frank. Who knows. Because he was talkingreallyfast and {{muttering}}. And I gave him my info, and he said, "Let me find you," and then I asked him what my download speed was supposed to be, and he said, "Just a minute," and I waited and waited and waited. And he didn't say anything, but I could hear that he's still there. So I asked, "Are you having trouble locating my account?"

"Oh, I located that a long time ago." In a derisive tone, like I'm stupid to think it would take him that long.

Huh?

And things just got worse from there. Instead of expressing any sympathy--you know, the standard, "I apologize for any inconvenience," that thing they say and you know they don't mean it but at least they go through the motions?--instead of that, he gave me a lecture on how the speed I pay for isn't guaranteed and how it's a household average and how everything on his end is just fine so the only thing it could be is my system.

Yeah. And I guess it was my system that was responsible for their huge email crash last week, too, huh? The one that was in the news? "Giant Email Outage Traced to Home of Orange-Haired Woman in Texas" is what the headlines said. I remember now!

So when he tells me there's nothing he can do, I tell him I guess I'd better talk to someone else, since someone was able to suggest a remedy last time I had trouble. And he asks why, and I say because 1) he has an attitude and 2) he obviously doesn't know the solution.

At which point you might think he would back-peddle a little, right? Maybe offer a belated apology for my irritating circumstances and Suddenlink's ongoing issues. Right? You would be so, so wrong. He just got even more officious and condescending, making me wonder if maybe this was someone I knew, someone I'd once sent to the principal's office for being a jerk in the 9th grade or something. Someone, you know, with A Grudge.

We had some more back and forth, and he put me on hold while he went to find a supervisor, which of course never happened.

You know what I blame for all of this? I blame PeopleofWalmart.com and Regretsy. You know why? Because they--along with a host of other websites and tv shows and magazines and celebrities--have made snarkiness and rudeness and an attitude of superiority and condescension cool and hip. It's not cool to be nice. It's not hip to be courteous. It's hip to sneer at strangers on the street and make snide remarks under your breath, to--if you're a kid--say smart-alecky things to your teachers and parents. The kinds of things that would have caused our own parents to kill us to spare themselves the embarrassment of having raised such a total jerk of a child.

We watched some docu-drama last night about Afghanistan, about some prisoners, and the main guy was being tortured and beaten and kept giving these sarcastic answers, and I was thinking you know this isn't true. This is a 20-year-old guy, unused to being hungry and being beaten, and after a couple weeks of this, he wouldn't be that cocky. But viewers WANT him to be cocky; they couldn't identify with someone who was cowed and afraid., as we all would be under those circumstances. Movies about kids? The kids always have an attitude. Always.

Kindness isn't cool. I get that. But--

OK. I'm going to quit, because I could go on all day. I'd sound like an old fuddy-duddy (OMG--did we actually used to use that term? Yikes), and it wouldn't do any good at all. Here's what I want y'all to do, please:  the next time some stranger is nice to you--especially if it's someone young and hip--please thank them. If there's something you can do for them (tipping, for instance, or filling out one of those comment slips), please do that. If you meet their parents, thank them. I'm not talking about embarrassing whoever-it-was--like, don't grab them and hug them in front of their fellow gang members or anything--but try to find a way to let them know, in a way that's meaningful to them, that you noticed and appreciate their attitude.

Sure, you could argue that niceness should be its own reward and that you shouldn't have to make a big deal when people behave as we all should, blah, blah, blah, but you know that's a crock.

Boy, this morning sure has made me appreciate the kids who work at our local Starbucks. I need to write a letter to each one of their moms. (Because we have been in Starbucks where not all the baristas were full of good cheer, let me just say; the ones here were raised right by someone.)

And it goes without saying that you're going to join me in making an extra effort at being nice yourself, right? It makes life so much nicer all the way around. So, please, help spread some good vibes today. We all need some.

XO