I Should Be Embarrassed

But, obviously, I am not, because here I go. If you've been hanging out at The Voodoo Cafe for any length of time, you won't be at all surprised, not even a tiny bit, when I tell you that after that last trip to Deja Vu in San Angelo, the one where I bought a dozen garments to alter, I couldn't WAIT to go back. So we did. This past weekend. Meaning: a week later. And did I find more stuff? Duh.

Duh!

I don't list the prices I pay for things because that's just between Lana and me. I bring things home and dye them for her, something I wouldn't even think of doing for anyone else. You know how it is with two very different people, one with one particular aesthetic and the other with something totally different, but there's this place where they meet and overlap? We've got that--there's a spot in there where we've got this style overlap we both understand, and it works. I had great fun last week tie-dyeing a heavy linen Heart's Desire jumper for her. It had been a pale, insipid pink that made us both sad, and when it was finished, it had a brand-new life. "Pastel" no longer applies.

OK, so here's what I came home with this time. And, yeah, I know: I have all the garments I'll ever need in life, ever, and should really quit shopping for more. But how can I resist? The drive to San Angelo is perfect--about two hours each way. I stitch the entire time, and it gives us a chance to listen to Dave Robicheaux on Audible (we love Will Patton reading James Lee Burke; I've read the whole series but of course don't remember them. Heck, I don't remember them from one chapter to the next; I just love the way Patton does characters' voices and Burke's loving description of southern Louisiana. I haven't even tried any of his other series; I don't know that I'd like them at all).

OK. This first one I have on approval because I couldn't decide if it's worth the trouble. It's Flax, a heavy linen knit, I think--or a very loose weave. I should know this, I know--I could go in there and look more closely at it (I'm pretty sure it's a loose but heavy woven, but it's that kind of fabric where you can't really tell). It's the reddish orange I've come to love lately--with warp (so it IS woven; duh) in one shade and weft in another, and I think it will be a great summer dress. The issues: it has only one pocket, which is just dumb to me, and it's a dowdy length. There's an area in there between the knee and the ankle that just makes everyone look dowdy. I like my own dresses to hit right below my knees, right at the top of my calves. It's a flattering length for most people, and it doesn't hinder walking the way a longer dress will. If it's a billowy, light dress, though, then ankle-length is good--you don't have to worry about it blowing up in the wind. But in between? That length chops off your legs, doesn't serve any purpose, coverage-wise, and is just, well, dowdy on almost everyone. So my thinking here is that I could cut off the bottom to hit that sweet spot, giving me some fabric I could use to add more pockets--so I'd leave the one that's there and add another on that side and one on the other side--asymmetrical but still giving me two I could put my hands in. I like to put my hands in pockets. Then I could bind the hem with my favorite current obsession, the Alabama Chanin Cretan Stitch Binding, which I adore--I think my anal-retentive brain totally gets caught up in the evenness of that Cretan Stitch, which I could now do in my sleep. Anyway, so an orange-r jersey for that binding, which I'd also do on the neck and armholes--the latter are a little large, which is OK because I bought all those colored bra covers--bandeau tops--last year just for that reason. But, as you can see, it would be a lot of work for something I wouldn't further embellish--it's not destined to be SoulWear so much as functional summer clothing. So I'm still thinking about it. It laundered up nicely, though, and I love the color.

 Then there's this Bryn Walker tunic top. I had trouble with the colors this morning and was in too much of a hurry to tweak them. This is a mustard yellow. It could go green, but it's not as green-ish as it looks here. I'm thinking of trying for a reddish-orange because that's the dye-bath I'm going to start here in a little bit. It worries me, though, that it looks this green--because in real life it almost does have a green tint. I do not need another green top, though, and in most light it's totally mustard yellow. I hope I can pull it off. If not, I'll just have to chalk it up to learning. Color fascinates me beyond measure, and figuring out all the undertones and how I can nudge them in one direction or another is such a fabulous challenge.

Anyway, it's got a nice drape. It's good for summer, it looks great on, and I could do all kinds of cool SoulWear stuff to it.

 OK--here's my biggest challenge of the whole lot. It's 73% cotton, 25% linen, and 2% spandex. It's very heavy--there's a linen layer underneath and then the tiers over that. They're so finely textured, they feel like butter. Or--eek!--polyester. You know that kind that mimics something between suede and washed silk? That feels wonderful and you're petting it and then you look at the tag--100% polyester--and recoil in terror? That stuff. It feels like that.

 But, oh, the color! Or lack of color. It makes me so sad. It's like a mushroom, which to me is a greyish brown or beige with some pinkish tinge in it. I could never, ever wear it this way.

 Plus it has some issues around the neck and armholes. I can fix that with--you guessed it!--Cretan stitching and will really enjoy doing that, but I have to dye the dress first so I can decide on the color of the floss.

 See what the edges do?

 There's this spot in the front; stitching will make it lie smoothly.

 So I'm trying to think what color I can go. It could easily be a dusty rose, but I don't do dusty rose. The two colors I have here that I think might work are Raspberry and Plum. I'm thinking--yikes!--I may mix them together, little by little, and see what happens. Very scary on a dress like this--I think it was around $300-400 new, and it may well still be brand new. Even though I didn't pay nearly that much for it, it's still scary to think about.

 Then there's this Cabi cotton coat I fell in love with. You can see one for sale on ebay here.

 I love it because it's comfortable, heavy for cotton--it's really substantial--and has a TON of possibilities. Below is how I will NOT wear it; it looks like an ugly bathrobe. Bleah. No wonder somebody got rid of it.

The belt loop in the back, which I will probably leave and embellish.

 What I'm thinking: I would like the sleeves to be a tad longer--they're long enough, but I'd like them overlong, down to the middle of the back of my hands. I don't know why except I want to try something: I want to use the belt to lengthen the sleeves. It may work; it may not.  Then I want to cut off the coat to right below the knee and use that fabric to make larger pockets to go over the patch pockets you see here--so it would be pockets within pockets, with the top of the original pocket sticking up a little. I have no idea if/how this will work, but it seems like a fun challenge. I'm thinking an AC binding at the bottom in another color of brown, or maybe tan or cream--it depends on what colors I have, since I don't want to dye anything brown (I have some brown dye but don't love it).

 Then there's this two-piece set, Cynthia Ashby again. There's more red in it than this; this is too blue. So it's a really vibrant orchid, maybe? But this color is close enough for you to get the idea. It's fine as it is; I don't have to dye it.

 The waist is a disaster for me. It's got black nylon or polyester or Something Fake stiff elastic sewn onto the ends of the ties. The elastic has twisted around itself into a bunchy mess. I'll take it out and replace it with flat cotton elastic, the stuff I use on the AC skirts, and leave off the ties--I'll just sew the elastic into the band. I don't need it to be adjustable; they do that so different sizes can wear it; I'll make it to fit me. I hate waist ties because if you wear a tank over them, they always show through bunched up and bulky, and then the ends hang down. Bleah. I might be able to open up the ties and iron them into flat fabric I can use for some other embellishment. If not, the cats will have yet another thing to drag around the house and leave in the floor. We have so many strips of fabric lying around in this house you'd think we were making mummies. Very bright, colorful mummies, but still. . . .

 I'm not loving the top--it's gauze and, unlike the skirt, isn't lined, so you'd have to wear something under it. I'm not a fan of gauze--it's scratchy, and I just don't like the way it looks or feels. But I think I might be able to do something with this. If not, I can take it back and resell it later. I don't think I'd wear the top and skirt together unless I went to a summer wedding or something.

 I love this stitching--almost like couching, but not really. I think stitching and/or beading would be way cool.

 Then there's this cotton skirt. Nothing exciting about it; I just didn't have a red skirt, and it's light enough (lined with very thin cotton) for summer.

 There's this drawstring treatment going on below the pockets. I'll probably remove those strips--kind of fussy for my taste. I don't like clothes that have to be adjusted and tied up and messed with. And that whole drawstring look looks really 80s to me. Which is fine if you love that--there's no point in following fashion--but not if you never loved it and hoped never to see it again. It makes me think of those horrid parachute pants.

 Furthermore, it hinders any embellishment you want to do: you have to think about how it will look with the drawstrings tied and then without.

 Great pockets, though, and it will be perfect with a tank for summer. Probably no embellishment--it's not that exciting to me. Just functional.

 Another Cynthia Ashby. I don't know why I fell in love with this, but I did. It looks great on with skinny jeans, and it has Embellishment Potential.

 The opinion of one of the ladies who was there shopping [and I don't use the word "ladies" usually; to me it's not interchangeable with "women." These were a couple of very elegantly-dressed women, one wearing a fabulous hat; definitely "ladies"]

 This is the coolest hat I've ever seen, and it was perfect on her. Her friend, below, was a total hoot, and I wanted to bring her home with us. To me, she is the epitome of elegance. Not stuffy, completely sure of herself, having a fabulous time. (They look more serious for the photos than they were in real life.)

--is that it's too big for me, but it's a small, and I think it looks great. Other women think I should wear form-fitting clothes to "show off my figure," but I want to be comfortable and am not into the Sexy Old Lady look, which kind of makes my teeth hurt. OK, here's the deal: women of any age can look fabulously sexy, but it's about comfort in their own skins, an attitude of self-confidence and the knowledge of themselves as warm, vibrant women. When they have that, you can see it a mile away. I have seen some fabulously sexy older women--they just exude a wisdom about life and love and, yes, of themselves as inherently sensual beings, that makes the space around them glow. It doesn't matter what their age or size, they just glow. When, on the other hand, women turn to what the culture deems "sexy" and try to adopt those looks, things can get ugly. When I see women my age in short skirts and high heels and skin-tight clothes, even women who are in fabulous shape, I don't think, "Wow, she really pulls that off well." I think, "That's so sad. Why is she so unhappy with herself?" I know a woman who's almost 70, in fabulous shape, who wears skirts above the knee, form-fitting clothes, and 4-inch heels. Her hair and make-up are flawless, and I think she's probably had work done. She looks great, but she doesn't look comfortable. She looks stiff, as if she's afraid to move. And if you're almost 70 and are wearing heels that high, who wouldn't be? It's one thing to trip and fall off your shoes when you're 25; it's another thing entirely after menopause.

So, sure, I have t-shirts and jeans and leggings that fit me, that are form-fitting, but I don't have any reason to wear only that stuff all the time, as if I have to show the world what? That's I haven't gotten fat? What does the world care? So, yeah, on the one hand, I can understand the kind advice I get from women in shops, but on the other, no. Society doesn't get to dictate how our clothes fit us and what looks good on us. Only we can decide that. I don't care if I'm an "autumn" or a "spring" or whatever; I care about what I think about the clothes I wear. I posted on Facebook the other day: I don't spend all day looking at myself in the mirror, so I have no idea how certain colors make me look. What I do is look down at myself when I'm sitting here and see the color itself, and what matters is how it makes me feel, not how it makes me *look.* My mother wouldn't wear purple, for instance. I think because we're a sort of yellowish, sallow people. I don't really remember what she said. I think I wasn't supposed to wear purple, either. If I remember, I'm supposed to wear gold, burnt orange, olive, brown. But I don't put on brown clothes and stand in front of the mirror and go, "Wow. That really perks up my eyes!" I put on brown clothes and look down at my lap and arms and go, "Bleah."

And then, having said all that, I show you more of the brown tunic I love!

 It's a warm rich brown, and I think I have some copper beads that would be FABULOUS on this.

 Then there's this Bryn Walker tunic. One of the girls in the shop (they're actually women, and I should call them that, but they're so young--I think several of them are still in school) said she'd never even seen me try on anything patterned. That's true; I do not like plaid or stripes or checks or any of that. But for some reason, I like this. I think because it's blue and cream and grey, and so it was made to go with jeans. Totally fell in love with it. I don't know what I might do to it--I think I'll take out those ties at the bottom, but maybe not: they add a little weight, and that's good. We'll see--it may be something I just wear for a while and then take back the next time I do a round of clearing out. I really am getting down to the tail ends of that, though: there's not a lot left in my closet that I don't love. Which is, of course, my ultimate goal. Not just stuff I like, not just stuff I wear sometimes, but stuff I totally adore, stuff that makes me happy every time I pull it out and put it on. Or even just when I go in and look at it.

Yeah, I do that: I'll go stand in my (still-not-painted) closet and go through the clothes, looking at them and thinking about them--what else I might do to them, what I might wear them with, what I could have done differently or how I might try to duplicate it and make a pattern. [Oh! Speaking of making patterns, I am SOOOO excited. Lana gave me two rolls of paper that is PERFECT for pattern-making, and I cannot WAIT to see what I can do with this:

 Another heavy Flax top. Not a color I usually wear--it's a little greener and deeper than in these photos. But see that green doorjamb over the shoulder in the upper left-hand corner? See that green? I'm thinking that shade of green would look fabulous on this--AC hem, an appliqué, another pocket. That's what I'm thinking for this one.

 I'm not crazy about the button detail on the back. I think it would be uncomfortable when you lean back in a chair. Plus I'm not big on details I can't see--it's hard enough for me to embellish the backs of clothes because, really, what's the point? I can't see it, so I can't see it. [Snort. A little language humor.]

 Then there's this rayon jacket. It kept catching my eye every time I went in. It's lined and heavy-ish, and the colors are fabulous. But I don't need another jacket, and I like my warm stuff to be longer, so it covers my lower back and butt when I sit down. I've gotten rid of almost all my shorter jackets just because they don't do that. But I couldn't resist this one--I was leery because it said "dry clean only," and I had a disaster one time with a rayon/silk velvet jacket that shredded in the wash, but Lana said to bring it home and try it, and if it didn't work, just toss it. I was very, very careful--set it on "hand wash" and dried on the lowest setting and took it out and hung it up as soon as I could tell there was some shrinking starting to happen. I have to sew the button back on and will tighten up the rest. What I'm thinking is more random stitching all over, a little at a time, just whenever I'm between projects and want to stitch. I love the texture--it will make a great Starbucks jacket (that place is always freezing, still).

And that's it.  For now, anyway~~and it will be a while before we go back, as we've got a bunch of other stuff to do in the next month or so, including tax prep (our appt is next Monday--yikes) and painting the closet, since I'm going to have to do it myself, and trying to get the storage building cleared out during spring break (next week) and then learning the new video camera before we go to Nashville the first week in April. Whew.

In the meantime, I'm so far behind where I wanted to be. I have a bunch of deadlines, and I hope to be able to take off next week to get all the other stuff done while The EGE's here to help. But I missed most of yesterday--what I thought was a flare-up of my lifelong (all my adult life) TMJ just kept getting worse, so I went to the dentist, who took x-rays and did a bunch of poking and putting ice-cold stuff on my teeth, and he's not sure what's going on, so he's sending me to an endodontist in Lubbock on Thursday. Because Midland is so very, very crazy, it's almost impossible to get an appt. here to see anyone--people wait months to see a specialist. So Thursday I have to take off and go to Lubbock and if it's as we suspect, I'll then have an immediate appointment for a root canal, my only option because the tooth we're looking at is the anchor for a bridge that replaces a baby tooth I had pulled in my 40s. Is that screwed up or what? My mouth is a mess--I got baby teeth with no replacements from my mother and horrid tooth-cracking bruxism from my dad. He and I had the same dentist--my father had to have his crowns replaced regularly because he cracked them in his sleep. I never, ever go to bed without my mouthpiece; the last time I did, I broke off (and swallowed) half a tooth. So I missed a big chunk of yesterday and will miss all of Thursday (two-hour drive there and back, plus whatever time the appt. takes, not to mention the inevitable waiting), but it has to be done: I haven't taken OTC pain relievers of any sort in years--I can't even remember the last time. But I'm taking them now, let me tell you. When it starts hurting, it hurts so much I can't think. It's like a fog descends over me, and all I can do is put damp hot compresses against my jaw and wait it out. So, yeah, I'm whinging over here.

All that, and here I've spent a couple hours photographing and blogging all these clothes. It was fun, but now I've got to go get busy--yiiiiiiiii~~

Thanks for coming by--I look forward to hearing ideas, suggestions, cautions, inspiration, anything you think of!
~~XO