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Midland, Texas, United States
I write. I make stuff.


Thursday, March 27, 2014

The F-Word

I think I have one last rant left in me (yeah, OK: one last one *today*), so you might want to just skip this. It's about feminism, which has become a nasty word, worse than The F-Word (go ahead: count the times you hear the two words in the course of a day or a week; which one is more prevalent and is uttered without apology?) I remember, oh, so long ago, when it was an idea that was vibrant and exciting, a movement that meant something. Now it's just passé, a relic of an idealistic, unreasonable time (universal love! global peace! weed for everyone!)

I have posted a ton on Facebook over the years, and the two topics that always get the most comments? Weight and make-up. Yeah, I know. It's like all the hair and nail and make-up and lacy underwear boards on Pinterest. You just hope Hillary Clinton and Wendy Davis never have time to see what their constituents actually think about all day long.

Anyway, so recently Melanie Testa, who is, in my opinion, one of the bravest women on the planet, did a post about breast cancer, her choice not to reconstruct, and her efforts to show other women that there are options they're seldom told about. You can read her most recent post about it here.

This week on Facebook she posted a photo of her torso and a link to a piece she wrote for another site (which I cannot find, but you can find it on Melly's FB). Apparently this inspired some people to post selfies with no make-up to engage in spreading the idea of self-acceptance, and I posted a photo (not a selfie, thankyoujesus) of myself, sans make-up (since I've quit wearing any at all). And then I wrote this:

Here's the thing about make-up: for whom do you wear it? If you say, "For me," then, realistically, how much time do you spend looking at your made-up face in the mirror? And do you wear it if you're going to be alone in the house all day long? People say, "It makes me feel better," but if you're on the inside looking out, how does that work? The truth is that we wear make-up for other people because we were raised to believe that's what we're supposed to do to be acceptable, to be well-thought-of ("She takes care of herself," "She makes an effort," "She's aged well"). What do you really feel about yourself and how you look? What about how you feel about how you *feel*? And another thing: if we didn't spend time/money/effort on hair/nails/make-up, what might we do with that time/money/effort?

What I was hoping for was a conversation about how society has convinced women that they're not OK as they are. We grow up believing that we're not enough, that we need mascara and pantyhose, Spanx and Botox, Hair Products and self-tanning cream. I was hoping to contribute to Melly's efforts to get women to realize they're OK just as they are, however they are, by getting women to stop and think about why we believe this stuff: we're too pale/dark, our hair is too straight/curly, our ________ is/are too ______________. I was thinking people would maybe chime in about how the men in their lives get up, wash their faces, and are ready to face the day, while the women spend however-much-time-it-takes putting on a new face and squeezing their bodies into casings of hose/shapers/lifters and cramming their feet into 3-inch heels.

What I actually got were 88 comments that, for the most part, fell into two groups. One group was mostly along the lines of (and this is NOT a specific comment; I'm deliberately inventing this one because I don't want anyone to think I'm talking about them), "I don't wear make-up except for a little bit of eye-liner and some foundation and a bit of blush and some mascara. And when I got out I add red lipstick. Otherwise I never wear it." Or "I never wear make-up unless I'm going to work or going shopping or going out for the evening or dressing up. Or going out to the mailbox or walking the dog. Or answering the front door. Or the phone." I think for a lot of women, "make-up" means "foundation" (or whatever the current equivalent product is), and everything else (eye shadow, lipliner) isn't.

So they were mostly, "I never wear make-up except. . . ."

The other group was made up of comments about why the poster wears make-up, and they ranged from covering up something on their face (skin issues, paleness) to likening make-up to paint on a canvas, i.e., an art form. A few were just the teeniest bit defensive, as if I had attacked a woman's right to wear make-up and people wanted to defend their choices and remind me that everyone has the right to choose what they do and that we don't all have to be alike.

Now, these are all fabulous comments. I appreciate people taking time to respond to my post, and every single comment is valid and valuable. OK? So I'm not making fun of anyone or being snotty here. I'm just disappointed we didn't have a different conversation. I don't think anyone commented from a feminist perspective, not about whether it's OK to wear make-up or not, but: why are we (females) conditioned from birth to think it's something that we (and not boys/men) are "supposed" to do to be a successful member of society? And why do we, supposedly intelligent adults, go along with it, spending our time justifying our "choices" (because you could effectively argue that if you're indoctrinated from birth, you're not really making a choice) instead of examining the pressure behind those choices? Why would we rather post about how make-up makes us feel pretty/confident/safe/professional than about how society pressures women to be perfect, from their hair to their toenails, and how most of us go along with it without thinking, making snarky comments about unkempt women in ways we don't about unkempt men? Think about it: we comment on other women's clothes, hair, make-up ("She'd look so much better with a little concealer" "She has great bones; she should highlight her cheeks.") breasts (or lack of: "She could use a trip to Victoria's Secret.") butt, thighs, lips, the tiny wrinkles between her eyes ("Botox would help her look less tired"). A man has to look like a rabid fox dragged him in from the woods after gnawing on him for a week before anyone says much of anything about how he looks. "Geez, you'd think he'd wipe off the blood and slobber before showing up for the meeting."

We watch TV and movies and aren't offended that the female characters almost always show cleavage, never mind their role. We've been Netflixing the various CSI series, and I'm constantly grousing about how the male detectives are wearing suits and ties or maybe shirts and jackets, but the female characters almost always wear tank tops (what kind of weather do you have where the men need jackets and the women (and, no, they're not old enough to be going through menopause, but you knew that: who wants to watch a show full of old women?) don't even need sleeves?) and show rather a lot of cleavage. Oh, and the high heels! Even on the beach! You'd think if you were a crime scene investigator in Miami and you were dressing to go to work, you might think there was at least a marginal chance that you'd end up slogging through the sand at some point. But no! Even though your title is Crime Scene Investigator, you seem to believe that the crime scenes you'll be called on to investigate will all be in nice office buildings or upscale malls, not alleys awash in bodily effluvia and beaches covered with, you know, sand and stuff. Dog poop. Dead fish.

But it seems so natural to us, that the women on TV and movies must "look good," that we don't even question it. There was one episode with an overweight woman, and of course her weight was the focus of the crime. Of course! And a female character over 50? Only the grieving grandmothers. With aprons.

OK, let me move on here. I think about this stuff periodically, but I refrain from writing about it because, well, why? What's the point? I get outraged at the steady chipping away of women's reproductive rights, for instance, but what good does it do me to rant about it? Most women seem fine with the way things are going, and young women, for whom these issues actually matter, aren't going to listen to those of us who have been there already. This stuff isn't important to them; they're sure they'll never need public reproductive health care.

I could rant for hours, for days, about how when the job market is tight and scary, there is always a move to get women to stay home. Sometimes it's overt; sometimes, more subtle. The recession was harder on working men than on women, and we're seeing the effects. Ours is a patriarchal society, and it's not going to change, and those in power aren't going to relinquish significant power willingly. Who ever does? Huh: that makes me wonder if, in the animal world, there are species where power is handed on freely, without battle. I should check about the bonobos, maybe. . . .

Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked here, and I know why: this stuff seems to obvious to me (not "simple," it's not simple at all) that I am like anyone who's passionate about anything: you can't imagine that everyone else doesn't feel as strongly about it as you do. You can either rant and rave and drive away all your friends and family, buttonholing people on the bus to ask them how they feel about Plan B and the Spanx Slim Cognito® Shape-suit, or you can just walk away and go make stuff. Which is what I'm going to do now because I can hear, already, people telling me just to breathe, not to worry about this stuff, how it will all work out and it's not nearly as big a deal as I think it is. And that's true: it will all work out, one way or another. Young women in their teens and 20s will have to figure out for themselves ways to deal with society's expectations and the rights they're allowed to have. Perhaps they'll choose Manolo Blahniks and Prada, or perhaps they'll choose cupcakes and glitter, or maybe, just maybe, they'll choose a revolution.


big mamabird said...

You should watch The Heat with the two women detectives, the chubby one is my hero! And she curses too! I wrote on your facebook about make-up- that I don't wear it or even remember to brush my hair very often...I am privileged to be able to get away with that as I am a stay at home mom, but seriously, I would always choose art supplies over make-up, and did so when I did have a job ...My boys are growing up with the idea that make-up is unnecessary and strange! Hee hee!

KarenS said...

Thank you for voicing ideas I've thought a lot about, too!

The Crow said...

THANK YOU, thank you, thank you!

I recently went to a plastic surgeon for a consult about having my breasts removed (not cancer, but other medical reasons). Your post today, with the links to Melanie's blog, has given me the courage to write about why I want mine removed.

Jean Shaw said...

One wonders. One really does.

Have you ever read "The Thoughtful Dresser"? It raises some interesting points.

A couple of thoughts:
--The 20-somethings I know are fully capable of leading a revolution on reproductive rights, so I'm not counting them out, even if they are a bit fashion-obsessed at the moment.
--Did you watch the Oscars? When the camera hit Bill Murray (who looked like a trashed, hungover beach bum), everyone in my group of neighbors started yelling "Get a haircut, Bill!" My point: Men aren't completely exempt from "lookism" nowadays. It's a brutal culture.
--The best thing any of us can do is keep on keeping on being productive. Oh, and I also try to follow John Prine's advice (metaphorically, of course): Blow up your TV.

jinxxxygirl said...

All young women today seem concerned about is how quickly they can have babies and how large a family they can have...... I know i may take a hit on that comment but its what i see all around me. Large, large families......when did that happen? And i'm not just talking about welfare families but from all walks of life having 3 or 4 and more kids... sigh don't get me started on the overpopulation did i get there? Oh yeah because you were talking about young women and what they are not concerned about... anyway...

I do wear make up .. alot less now than i did when i was younger... i remember standing in the bathroom watching my mother put her 'face' on every day. Its just a natural thing for me and i do not feel 'put together' until i at least have a little on. i guess i could never be labeled a feminist. :) However when i look at the huge collections of eyeshadow and nail polish at the store all i see are art supplies. :) Can i be a feminist in training?? Hugs! deb

Randi Parkhurst said...

This issue is the elephant in the room for me. I have managed to overcome so much of what my family or the media have to say about my worth, but the stickler is, I still feel lousy about my body. I am 54 fucking years old and I still cannot beat this beast back! And I feel worse as I age and change physically. I am a strong person. I have overcome so many tragedies and yet this superficial issue of how women look is a real bulldog that won't let loose. I think the real reason I wear makeup is because I feel like everything else is going to hell and by wearing makeup I can somehow disguise that from everyone, especially myself. And all this makes me FURIOUS! And sad. I keep thinking I will feel better about this issue at some point, but how maddening to be this age and know it is definitely stronger than me at this point. I am successful in my marriage. I am successful in my art. I am successful at being a good friend. But not a very good friend to myself! Thank you for bringing this up. I think more discussions like this would be helpful to me in the long run. The discussions I'm hearing, though, are always complaining or joking or attacking each other. How many times do I have to hear women dragging down other women!? We are strong. We need to be strong for each other and we especially need to be strong for ourselves on this issue. I am crying as I write this and that makes me see why we aren't engaging in useful conversations about this-it cuts too close. So we stuff it and disguise it and sweep it out the back door. Ack!

Ricë said...

Thank you all for taking time to read and comment; I love it when we get to feel not-so-alone about stuff most people don't talk about.

Ricë said...

Randi, on the one hand your comment is surprising to me because you're so amazingly talented and successful and maybe even a little intimidating (to me) in your talent, you know, like the girls in school who were so smart and together that you couldn't figure out what they knew that you didn't? On the other hand, it's not surprising at all and is just sad because I think middle age is such a huge mountain for women to climb. The pressure not to be An Old Woman is so overwhelming that it kind of overrides our success and our relationships and our passion. No matter how much we love our life, we're told it's pretty much over once we hit 50. I so believe this is crap designed to make us believe what one woman told me recently: we're in competition with women in their 20s for everything from "our men" to our jobs, so we need all the help (stuff advertisers want us to buy) we can get. I feel another rant coming on.

Ricë said...

You and me, Deb, you and me: if I start in on the overpopulation of the planet, my head will explode today for real.

Carol said...

The media: it sucks, it’s consumed w/youth-ism, and if you’re going to watch it, then be prepared and fore-warned. That is one reason I like British TV better – the women tend to look more like women I know.

But here’s another though:

How you present yourself to the world is looked upon differently by different people in different societies. You seem to be talking about makeup here in the West, but what about other societies who use makeup/decoration in other ways (Maori for instance) Does that mean anyone who decorates themselves is unhappy or not self-loving enough? Or could it just be that some people love to decorate themselves?

So if you can say yeah, I can see makeup as decoration in other societies can we then see makeup as decoration in the Western world?

Makeup in and of itself is NOT a bad thing. Yes some people may have started off wearing makeup because they felt that was appropriate, but some people do wear it as decoration!

With regard to your fifth paragraph, you can change the word "makeup" to "any handmade decorative wearable art" and would it fit just as well? Or not?

If you haven't seen Helga Von Trollop's blog yet, I suggest that you do - to me, there's someone who is having fun with fashion, makeup and decoration!


Carol- Beads and Birds said...

Interesting discussion. I am recently retired. When I worked I wore make-up everyday and colored my hair so the young guys would see my authority and not just call me the old biddy. But on days off, I rarely put makeup on.

Now that I am home everyday I rarely put my dentures in. I can't say I NEVER wear makeup. But I CAN say that when I do, its in the winter when I am going out because I feel pale. After the stinking winter goes and I get that sunny glow I can honestly say I will NEVER put on make up.

But can I honestly say the make up is for me? Sadly, no.

Bright spot! My grandson's girlfriend is a Sr. in Hi School and feels totally comfortable with herself with absolutely no makeup except she loves nail polish.

There IS hope.

Sharon Robb-Chism said...

As Carol stated, I have found British TV, rented from Netflix, to be more realistic in their women characters. We have been watching a series called Kingdom with Steven Frye, that has great female characters (he's a lawyer in a small town).

As someone who has been reading Vogue magazine since grade school (true, I got it at the library), I still never totally bought into the make up thing. Fun with clothes, yes, make up, no. For a brief period in High School I wore eye makeup, but hated it. Face make up...never. It makes me feel dirty. It also helped that neither my mom, nor my grandmothers wore make up. They couldn't be bothered. All of them were, and are (my mom is 83 and still active) great, smart, creative women, so I never had the "put on the face" pressure I would have if they had all worn the stuff.

I will be turning 65 in April. I feel great, still do things I could do at 30 — mostly, and resent the avalanche of mail I get every week from mortuaries, assisted living institutions, long-term medical care companies, etc, etc. acting as if I have one foot in the grave and better prepare "to spare my family at a time of grief." Bollocks! LOL I'm going to go out and get a new tattoo, to "mark" the occasion. :=)

Oh, and yeah...don't even get me started on the whole over population thing. It isn't going to be a nuk that destroys humans, it's going to be when we run out of food and water to support everyone.

Just Jen said...

I started to respond to your FB post ... and then I read the others responses. And stopped. Because it just further cements my alien'ness'.

Should I even suggest to anyone why they would put chemical-laden crap on their face... make-up. sunblock. SOAP fercryingoutloud!... I'm laughed at, lovingly of course, for being "Oh! Mom you're such a non-conformist!".

I don't get it.

I don't get why when I tell someone that I just ran 10km or biked 100km or lifted 100lbs they immediately lower their eyes, scuff their toe in the dirt and say, "Yah. I need to start eating better." or "I should take up running (or biking or exercising or...)"

Why does my activity, my non-fashion, non-make-up wearing self make YOU so uncomfortable?

I don't get it.
I think I will always be an alien in that female world.

Ricë said...

Carol, I was specific about using "make-up" because in the west, for the most part (yes, I know men who wear make-up), it's gender specific. There's a difference between applying paint to your face as decoration and applying paint to your face to accentuate those features that your particular society deems attractive. Painting a series of dots down the middle of your face is not the same as making your eyelashes appear darker and fuller or your lips redder and more moist.

Ricë said...

And, no, it wouldn't work to change "make-up" to "any hand-made decorative wearable art." While I know very few men who wear make-up, most men I know do wear jewelry. Many have collections of jewelry they value. Some of them make their own jewelry. My husband wears embellished clothes I've made for him; I know men who have clothing made for them. None of them wear make-up, but they all wear decorative clothing/accessories as part of their regular wear.

Mary said...

The actor Paul Bettany has "ruined" popular culture for me with this quote, talking about what is expected of his wife, Jennifer Connelly, as opposed to what is expected of him.

On how Hollywood treats its female actors: "In general it's so much more of an objectification. You know the drill, it's a true story. For instance, if I am being asked to have a picture taken on the cover of a magazine, maybe they're wanting me to look sexy, maybe they're wanting me to look rugged, maybe they're wanting me to look fragile. With a woman, they want you to look available, essentially, that you are in some way inviting. And that's just f@*^#@% depressing."

It is impossible to watch/see commercials now without thinking AVAILABLE! Why do you need red glistening lips? To make your mouth look more AVAILABLE! Why do you need Victoria Secret undergarments? To make your breasts look more AVAILABLE! Red carpet fashions? AVAILABLE! God forbid any woman should wear pants.

I thank Paul in my head every single time. The only thing I want to look available for is making art and being happy.

Ricë said...

"Available." Perfect. Thank you.

monica said...

Brava, Ricë!

You're absolutely right — makeup is a HUGE time suck, and I've always been to lazy/selfish to bother. Why should I have to spend extra time (that guys don't) on my appearance? I never learned how to put on makeup the "right way." I put moisturizer with sunscreen on my face, plain old sunscreen on my arms (in the summer, when I'm wearing short sleeves), and deodorant on my pits. Done.

My hippie parents raised me (and my sister) with 1970s-era feminism, Sesame Street, Free To Be You and Me, and never NEVER told us that we couldn't do something because it was "for boys."

BUT! I'm 44 and my mom STILL pesters me about my hair, my (lack of) make up, what I wear (jeans and t-shirts, mostly). She has pin-straight hair, like me, and puts it in curlers EVERY DAY, then hairsprays the heck out of it. Otherwise she looks "too masculine."

And YET! I totally get what Randi's talking about — lately I've been wearing eyeliner. Why? Because I'm starting to look (to me) older and it's easier than mascara. Ugh.

I try really hard (on days where I'm feeling like I look "blah") to remember the saying: "The older I get, the fewer f*cks I have to give."

Sharon Driscoll said...

Interesting dialogue. I so rarely wear make-up that when I get it out I know it's 6 months past the expiration date. Do I 'look better' with make-up on? Probably, but what a waste of time when I could be doing other things. Everyone should do what makes them feel good and be less judgemental of those who have another path but the time for everyone feeling they must be pigeon-holed into a certain behavior or look really needs to pass for the sake of our "girls".

I'm from back in the title 9 days when we were forced to play half court basketball and couldn't earn "letter jackets". I NEVER got it then and don't get it now. I was lucky - my father said, "No one has the right to determine your self worth but you." And he made up a lullaby for my daughter That went "Diamonds are girls best friend - and you can buy your own, green is your favorite color, and never be the nurse when you're capable of being the doctor."

I just think it's wild to see men in comfy shoes, sans make-up, suits, aged, and then see a woman right next to him who has to spanex, make-up, wear heels, push the boobs up and so on and then whammo - she gets the criticism for being too old, to harsh, too made-up, blah blah blah.

Now I'm ranting....but gheez. It wasn't right 40+ years ago and it's not right now either. We've come a long way but not nearly far enough.

Maria said...

Thanks for your honest thoughts. As a young 20 something I like to hope that things are changing but it does seem pretty bleak.

I'm wondering how we contribute to the revolution. I do small things, but it never feels like enough. I shop only thrift stores. I try to respectfully speak my mind no matter who I'm talking with. I'm working at being less quiet, less of the nice girl I'm supposed to be. I've stopped wearing 'your face, but better, makeup'.

It seems like it comes down to what we teach the next generations. As someone who doesn't want kids, it feels like I can't change much. I guess everyone feels this. Like you said, you do what you can, and then walk away to do what you want.

theailurophile said...

I appreciate the discussion, but as feminist issues go this is waaaaay down my list in importance after equal pay and a few other things that bug the *$#! out of me. Let's stop letting large employers hide behind their pews to deny me health care, give me equal opportunity...TRUE equal opportunity for advancement in the workplace....REAL maternity leave not the fake stuff that many school districts (for example) offer, and a few other things...then if we want to strike a blow against this economic behemoth (and lets be clear-this is really about money and profit more than anything) THEN I'll rant all you want me to.

theailurophile said...

I appreciate the discussion, but as feminist issues go this is waaaaay down my list in importance after equal pay and a few other things that bug the *$#! out of me. Let's stop letting large employers hide behind their pews to deny me health care, give me equal opportunity...TRUE equal opportunity for advancement in the workplace....REAL maternity leave not the fake stuff that many school districts (for example) offer, and a few other things...then if we want to strike a blow against this economic behemoth (and lets be clear-this is really about money and profit more than anything) THEN I'll rant all you want me to.

Kathy said...

As I posted on FB, I wear a bit of make-up. It brightens my face and lifts my spirits while I'm slogging through day after day of navy blue scrubs. It's similar to the feeling I get when I can wear orange or red or another color to express myself. I don't think that it identifies me as less than OK with my self as I am nor does it negate the fact that I have been a feminist for my nearly 62 years. Melly is my hero and should I ever find myself in her shoes, she has shown me the direction I will follow. I am inspired by and grateful to her for her bravery and voice.
But I meet a lot of people - a lot of women. The vast majority of women that I meet every day don't wear make-up. They don't color their hair. They don't dress up. It's not because they feel good and confident about themselves. In general it's because they don't. They are not feminists - they find feminism appalling and stupid. And, frighteningly, there are more of them than there of us.

Ricë said...

Chris, I'd have to argue (in a very friendly way, of course!) that the two go hand in hand. If women don't think about what society's expectations of women's appearance is really about, why are they going to do the hard work of tackling real inequality? Most women I know figure, hey, they can vote and get a job if they have to, so what's the big deal?

Wendy Watson said...

Go Ricë! I'm sitting here without an uplift bra, no makeup, no hair dye and quite frankly I think I'm gorgeous inside and out. My granddaughters have told me I am so there are at least 2 others who think so.

I've been invisible to society for some time now which is perhaps a blessing . . . it started in my 40s I think. Now that I'm well into my 60s no-one has any expectation or cares if I wear heels and impossibly uncofortable clothes where you have to guess if I'm inside trying to get out or outside trying to get in. The only time I'm really noticed is if I don't act my age and as I have no idea of how to, well, sometimes I may get noticed. I was asked where I grew up the other day and said that I made my first attempt in Christchurch and since that was largely unsucessful I don't see the point in it. What's so fantastic being a grown up and is there an age for it?
I'm also remembering my mother, in her 90s saying, "now that I'm getting older, I seem to have achieved some novelty value." She was always 'getting old' even in her late 90s. Yup! This was a woman (born 1906) who wasn't allowed to have a paying job although she did her father's accounts (ladies don't work you know) but she went rabbit shooting, drove a truck and rode a motor bike. She owned her own business when I was a kid and let me know that a woman can do whatever she damn well wanted.
Women allow themselves to be trapped in a fragrant lacey web . . . oh dear, a rant from a feminist of the 60s . . . just don't let me hear any woman say that they're going to grow a pair of balls and take charge . . . I can feel another chapter of ranting coming on!! Ineffectual men are insulted by being compared to women and women who are successful and/or assertive are slammed for being bitches . . . and why isn't there a masculine equivalent?

'nuff said . . . I agree with you 100%

Maddie Can Fly said...

No make up here -- quit that time waster when I was 18.

The push for make up, spandex, fake nails, etc., is all about consumerism. Women seem to be easily led down the path of "we're not good enough and don't know what's good for us".

The women's fashion industry is the worst -- skinny jeans in the 80's, then they bring back wide legged pants in the 90's and now, you are a nerd if you aren't wearing skinny jeans. Meanwhile, you've replaced all your clothes three times and you're back with what you started.

Sharon Robb-Chism said...

Okay, I am going to play devil's advocate here a bit. I think those of us who do not feel the need to wear makeup have to be careful not to practice a form of reverse snobbery. Not saying anyone here is, but it could come off sounding that way. The fact is, women have been wearing makeup of one form or another since ancient times. Kohl for the eyes, berries to tint the lips and cheeks, and really gross concoctions to dye the hair...way before mass marketing or corporate expectations. They have also tortured their bodies with corsets, bustles, and other means to change their natural shape. I'm not going to attempt an analysis of why women have done these things over the centuries, but they have. All I am saying is that it may not all be societal pressure or poor self-image. It could be make up just makes some women feel better about their appearance. I don't think there is anything wrong with that just because it doesn't work for me.

Grammargal said...

I like what Sharon just wrote...I see nothing wrong with it (wearing makeup) just because I chooose not to. Therein lies my response. I am about as pale a person as they come. I like my face with a little color. Not alot, just a touch. I don't want to look "washed-out" and any older than I am -- and no makeup causes both. So I say to-each-her-own!

Dora said...

I am so over men trying to legislate women's reproductive rights. Why is it okay for Medicare to cover Viagra and all it's cousins but women cannot be guaranteed birth control coverage by insurance and access to the morning after pill or abortion if needed? I still think that if men had to birth the babies, abortion would be a sacrament.

M Meyer said...

There have been some wonderful comments on here. I think that the personal evolution of each woman takes a huge chunk of one's lifetime. I hate conformity. And with fashion I hear my husband's voice, "no man would wear that". Why do industries follow trends like sheep? I won't buy another pair of slacks until they make them 1. Comfortable, 2. Fit properly so I don't have to hitch them up constantly, and 3. out of something other than a poly blend.

I would also like to know why I cannot buy that same light weight cotton in a fabric store that they use to manufacture garments. WTF?

My current fashion sense is to wear full, twirly skirts that don't bind; bedhead hair twisted up; socks that may not match what I am wearing; and shoes that don't hurt my feet or that I would fall over in. In my former life, in the eighties, I wore heels and I could run in them if need be. Now I have lovely bunions. I wear a belt at work to hold my phone that I am forced to carry. And I buy my belts at ren faires because nothing sturdy is ever sold in stores for women.

I also balk at vegan shoes. Why would I encase my feet in plastic? I love designers like Betsey Johnson and Vivian Westwood but when they get to shoes? Have you seen the footage of models trying to walk in those shoes on the runway? I loved my wedgies back in the day, but now I am DONE.

I could go on...

Zom Osborne said...

I am sorry that I missed this very interesting discussion, but heartened to read your intelligent opinions on this issue (which just happen to align with mine, heehee.)
And about the human population explosion! What the hell happened to zero growth?
And feminism, the word you will hear me say again and again. I am proud to be a feminist, and will happily shout it to anyone who asks.